jflo

photo, spoken word, pithy dialogue, film

All I want for Christmas

I want more gadgets, electronic not wooden.

I want the couple I saw yesterday to know I’m sorry for telling them that they looked like the old couple from On Golden Pond, but turned out to be my age.

I want my mom to stop recording the weather channel.

Any DVD that doesn’t include a recorded live performance of a band I’ve never heard of.

I want my Internet to be faster than yours.

I want for football to last for 11 months out of the year so I can continue the home invasions of my neighbor.

I want Brett Favre to retire at the end of the season and then comeback and join the Cowboys so I can be disappointed with him too.

I want a threesome with two of my wives.

A picture of a cow wearing floaties.

The complete series of TJ Hooker so that I may re-gift it to someone I don’t like.

A chain wallet with a handcuff attached to it.

I want my to re-enact the part of the manger scene where the virgin Mary explains to Joseph how she got pregnant.

$400.00 for two rubber coated circles for my truck to drive on seems excesssive. Golf carts everybody. It’d be fun.

PUNCTUATION SAVES LIVES

mytruelies:

Let’s eat grandma!

Let’s eat, grandma!

flamegirl-:

bahahaha. wow. I guess it’s worth a try.

flamegirl-:

bahahaha. wow. I guess it’s worth a try.

Twelve beers in and two to go before he loses the pants.

Twelve beers in and two to go before he loses the pants.

Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start and you especially have to be hurt like hell before you can write seriously. But when you get the damned hurt, use it-don’t cheat with it. Ernest Hemingway (via jager)
northerndelight:

First Celebrity Swine Flu FatalityAnd we all know who gave it to him……………

northerndelight:

First Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality
And we all know who gave it to him……………